


I told you Facebook was dangerous!

by millygal



Series: My Prompts Table [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fourth Wall, M/M, Multi, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:17:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: "It's looking at me!"





	I told you Facebook was dangerous!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote myself my own prompts table http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/1741709.html and today I got my first one done - I told you facebook was dangerous. - There is no offence meant with this at all, I'm going with the fact that *she* drunk texted/emailed him, okay? Please don't beat me! Thanks to jj1564 for the beta and comments, you're damned awesome my Padawan! <3 One prompt down, twenty-four to go, please do make sure to check out the table. You might be inspired :) Also, FOURTH WALL, WHAT FOURTH WALL?!? ;)

Sam sits in front of his laptop with a look of horror etched on his face; eyebrows knitted, mouth open in a toothy grimace, head tilted to one side.

It’s like those giant interstate pileups he and Dean drive past occasionally - You know you should look away but you just can’t bring yourself to shut your eyes and shake the images loose.

“Hey Sa - what the fuck is **that**?”

Mouth still hanging open, Sam turns and shakes his head at Dean before scrubbing his hands over his face, pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes, hoping to squeeze the picture from his memory. “I honestly have _no_ clue. It looks like some kind of sea monster, but I have a sneaking suspicion - “

Dean leans in over Sam’s shoulder and studies the image on the screen before stepping back and smirking at his brother. “I do believe you just got yourself a _sext_ , Sammy.”

Sam turns back to the screen and narrows his eyes at the image, despite wishing he’d never seen it in the first place. “Okay, sexting is a thing people do on phones, isn’t it? And I know it’s been awhile since I got down and dirty with that particular part of the female anatomy, but what the _fuck_?”

Dean’s trying really hard not to laugh in Sam’s face, but the confusion twisting his brother’s features is too good to pass up. Adopting a low pitched studious tone, Dean pulls a pen from the desk next to the laptop and starts pointing at various _parts_ of the picture. “Well, Sammy, that right there is, if I’m not mistaken, a piercing of some kind. See how the metal bar slips through the - “

“Stop STOP! Please, just **stop**.”

Dean’s laughter is loud and infuriating and blasting the back of Sam’s head, blowing his hair all over the place. “Dude, seriously, who’s sendin’ you pictures they clearly should've used a selfie-stick for?”

Wrinkling his nose and swallowing slowly, Sam points at the username and waits for Dean’s reaction.

Sure enough, Dean sees the Facebook handle and nearly falls over. “How the fuck did SHE find your Facebook account?! How many times have I told you, don’t put your real name! And can I just point out, if that is who I think it is, Becky’s had herself a serious makeover. You reckon she was drunk emailing?”

Sam moves his finger across the touchpad and hovers over the delete button when Dean’s hand slams down across his.

“Don’t even think about it, I’m gonna blow that up and stick it in the garage next to Baby’s bay, it’ll be like abstract art, **and** I’m gonna reply.”

“Gross, Dean, **so** gross, and don’t you fucking dare! You know what she’s like, if you enter into conversation she’ll just keep talking until our brains are dribbling out of our ears.”

Dean lets his chin hit his chest and chuckles at Sam’s indignant hissing and spitting before patting his brother gently on the shoulder. “I don’t think _talking_ is what she’s after here, Sammy, and I know we’ve been exclusively getting naked and sweaty for a few years now, but maybe you should take an advanced class in human anatomy. I can’t believe you couldn’t see what that was.”

Dean pulls his phone from his pocket and begins unbuttoning his jeans and Sam almost chokes on his own tongue. “NO!”

Dean pouts, then winks and buttons himself back up before leaning over Sam’s shoulder and dragging the laptop across the table. “You’re no fun, Sammy-boy. Fine, fine, I’ll just _type_ a reply, and THEN you’re going to delete this account, got it?”

“With pleasure.”

Dean taps out a reply and hits send before Sam can stop him. “What did you just do?”

“I replied.”

“You REPLIED!!”

“What, it’s not like it isn’t as close to the truth as possible.”

Sam leans in towards the screen and reads Dean’s message, gritting his teeth and snorting loudly. “She’s going to have heart failure.”

“She’s gonna be heart _broken_ but she’ll leave you alone, at least.”

_Dearest MrsBWinchester123, I’m sorry to have to inform you that I no longer bat for that particular team. As much as I appreciate the aesthetic look of the photo you sent, I’m afraid it no longer does anything for me. I’ve been riding stick for quite some time now, so it was lovely to hear from you, but unfortunately we’ll just have to part as friends._

Sam’s about to delete his Facebook account when another message pings into his inbox and he almost tumbles out of his chair.

Dean lifts the laptop from the table and scans the message and laughs so hard he almost drops the damned thing. “So, Sammy, are you gonna take her up on her offer to co-write fanfiction now you can give her a blow-by-blow account of what it actually feels like?”

“Dean, if you don’t delete that account right now I’m going to start writing up all of _our_ exploits and sharing them on the **Archive**. Got it?!”

“I’m deletein’ it, I’m deletin’ it. Although, some of the crap we get up to would definitely warrant an NC-17 ratin’.”


End file.
